Friday, November 27, 2009

Spam Sandwich

Stoop choletserol toady and you wiill livee withuot vascluar dsiease tomrorow!

I just had to share this one with you. I get the impression that the writer is so excited about his/her discovery that they haven’t had time to correct the typos before sending out the spam

“Yoour diganosis is bronhcial ashtma? Buut thiis is noot the eend of lifee!”
I’m so glad to know that

“Hundrdes of aanti-fluu reemdies advertsied nowdaays aree moore myth thaan real savlation.”
I don’t think they are sold as remedies it you read the packet. They just ease the symptoms to make you feel more comfortable.

"Coome ngiht, coome drakness, for you can-not coome tooo sooon or staay tooo loong by suuch a plcae as thiis! Coome, strgagling ligths into the windwos of the uugly hosues; and you whoo do iinquity tehrein, do it at laest with thiis derad scnee shuut oout! Coome, flmae of gaas, burinng so slulenly aobve the iroon gatee, onIt is weell thaat you shuold caall to eevry pas-serby, "Loook heere!"”

I think they’ve copy and pasted part of a different spam letter here.
I especially like this part; "wihch the poiosned aair depostis iits wicth-ointmnet slmiy to the tuoch!” It would have been a useful line to threaten the children with when they were small.

Makes a change from all the lotteries I’ve won recently. Oh - I forgot to mention the threatening letters I’ve been getting from the FBI. If I stop blogging you’ll know why….


Dru Marland said...

It sounds a bit like one of Macbeth's witches. Or how about this bit of Chaucer?

Ne may the venym voyden ne expelle.
The pipes of his longes gonne to swelle,
And every lacerte in his brest adoun
Is shent with venym and corrupcioun.
Hym gayneth neither, for to gete his lif,
Vomyt upward, ne downward laxatif.

Anji said...

I think you've got it, Chaucer with a touch of oversensitive keyboard. I tried Googling a quote but it brought me back to this post.

Doris said...

LOL wonderful prose! Of sorts.

Interesting you say that about the googling - I suspect that was why it was changed in the first place.

And this Sunday I'm looking for true "savlation"!

Anji said...

Doris: True Savlation comes on a Sunday from traditional roast beef and yorkshire pudding.

Kimberley said...

They always sound like that, I've noticed. I always imagine some evil warlord hanging over their shoulder demanding that they spam harder. FASTER!

Anji said...

Kiberley: Rows and rows of them chained to old computers with windows 95....